"Out here it's like I'm someone else, I thought that maybe I could find myself".
That about sums the way i feel up. I've been searching, and searching, for years and years for something more. And yet, no matter how far, how deep, how wide I search, nothing I have found has compared with the joy I have received from my heavenly father.
I'm only going to find truly find myself, when I truly find my heavenly father for all he is in all of his glory.
I believe that, when we really truly begin to dedicate our lives to Christ, we will see the desires of our hearts, line up with the desires of God's heart. Things on this earth will begin to take a back seat to spiritually priorities God has laid on my heart.
Here's an example. For the past 12 years, I have been fascinated with the weather. I have an opportunity to study that next year and make a career out of it at Tech. ( Something I am choosing to pursue). Yet, ever since I've gotten accepted, it hasn't really been on my mind much. Rather, what has been consuming my mind literally day in, day out, is am I honoring God in this choice. I have just developed this greater passion to grow, and learn more about who Jesus was. It's almost like God is killing some things that were there, and putting things that he has in his mind, in his heart, in mine, as I continue to grow.
The thing that kills me is I don't want to leave Liberty. This is the best school in America. But yet, no matter what, I really feel like Tech is where God is leading me to go. How ironic, leaving the Christian University, to go to a secular school, and you feel like that is where God's leading? Talk about confusion. The funny thing, is I don't have a clue why. I've thought about staying at Liberty and doing pastoral leadership. I've thought "well here ya go God, I'll grow in this, and then just become a full time Clayton King!:. But yet, that's not it, either. I think to do that you have to have a calling, and I don't. Why would God call me, give me the choice to go to Virginia Tech, major in something scientific, but yet still have a plan, a purpose for me in advancing his kingdom? Try telling me where I'm going to fit in, into the Kingdom of God. It honestly makes no sense to me, I just have this peace about it, a peace from God, that I am following him, ironically.
God continues to amaze me. It's hard to see where/how God is going to use me in his kingdom at Tech. I may not ever know, how God has used me, where God as used me, but I know I have a God who loves me.
That's where I saw God today, in peace.
I love every single one of ya''ll. ya'll take care. Cya.
PS - I'm really tired, so I hope this makes sense. I was dozing off some but i really felt it neccesary to talk about it.
Point to take out of this quote -- if you get discouraged, because your just a "regular joe", get back up again. Know that no matter what, if you are following God's commands, and seeking his will, you won't only find yourself, you'll find a love far greater than any love any earthly being can bring.
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