dia once

Ten million thoughts, rushing through your head.  Your heartbeat jumps, your veins widen, and stick out of your arms.  Everyone is talking, but yet you all you hear is silence.  The room seems to be spinning, but really, it's you.   Sitting still, it's not an option.  You have to be moving, you are in the zone.  So drenched in emotion, a body filled with adrenaline.

Maybe you can relate to the above scene.  A big shot at the end of the game.  Maybe your asking someone on a date.  Maybe you just won the lottery.  

or maybe, you just snapped.  

Today, my body experienced raw emotion.  My fists, clenched so tight I broke skin in my palms.  My head, wanted one thing, to knock him out.  There was a "slight" verbal altercation between me and one of my co-workers at work today.  I said some things I shouldn't have.  

After the verbal exchange was over, I was ready to blow.  I honestly don't think I have ever been this close (and not hit someone) in my life.  The feeling, the sensation I described in the opening paragraph, that was me, after this altercation.  

So you may be asking, where is God in all of this?  I'm about to show you.

After about five minutes of pacing around the restaurant doing ANYTHING I could to keep myself busy, the thought occurred to me to pray.  So I began, through my anger and pride to pray.  I asked God for forgiveness, for grace, and for the strength and courage to set an example and ask for forgiveness.  

This was the first time, ever, I have ever thought to pray in a time of anger.  It's never happened to me before.  The thought has never crossed my mind, until today.  Even better?  God gave me the strength to approach him, after work, and ask for his forgiveness for the things I said.  He accepted my apology and the night ended smoothly.  It is just so cool to see God answering prayers like that, right in front of me.  It is so awesome to see my God, coming to my side, in my defense, when I called upon his name.  Amen?

I went from probably the most extreme anger I had felt in a long, long time, to the most joy I have felt in a long time in worship at Campus Church later that night, in a matter of minutes.  It is amazing what God can do when we simply believe and trust  that he has ultimate authority, if we just surrender ourselves, and allow him in.

I'm out for the night.  Tootles.